Ok, I know. I'm an asshole. I haven't updated for over a week. I'm sorry, I have no (good) reason and I appologize. All I can say is that I was lazy.

I was too busy Friday to get an entry in and since that was the last day I was at work until today, yep, nothing got done. I could have done an entry from home, but our computer sucks ass and it's too annoying. I figured I'd save myself some aggrivation and just update everything in one entry.

Nothing really happened Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Just sat around, bored. I had thought about going to a movie on Saturday afternoon, but we went to eat or something and by the time I looked at my watch, it was too late. This really was a lazy weekend. We did NOTHING. Not a thing. I rented DVD's and watched them all week. I spent I don't know how many hours with the new Abyss DVD. It's a 2 disc set with all this cool behind the scenes stuff. Sadly, most of it's text so I had to sit there for hours reading. Needless to say, by Monday, I was totally fucking bored.

Monday, after sitting around, again, and doing nothing, I decided to come in to the office to do a little work that I had. It ended up going rather quickly so I hung out and played on the internet. Did some jigsaw puzzles at Shockrave and then played some shit on the 'puter here. Nothing real exciting. Of course, I lost track of time and didn't get home until after 10. We ended up eating late that night.

Yesterday was probably the most exciting out of the last 4 just because we all got out of the house for more than an hour. We ended up going to one of the wife's aunt's house around 1:30 or so. I was kind of nervous about this. See, every 4th of July, we'd go to the wife's uncle Al's house. He'd get like $400-800 worth of fireworks and we'd have a party. We'd grill burgers and dogs, swim in the pool, play horseshoes, and drink. Did I mention the drinking? Then around 8:30 or so, when it finally got dark, they'd start setting off all the fireworks. Well, this year was a bit somber.

See, some months ago. Al, died of a heart attack. I wasn't even sure we were going to go anywhere for the 4th. We ended up going over to his house anyway and everyone seemed to be in good spirits. They still grilled hamburgers and all the younger kids (late teens early 20's) swam in the pool. Believe it or not, I even got my fat, white ass up and got in the pool. I have this thing about being seen without a shirt in public. I never, NEVER go to the beach and I hate public pools. But, everyone was having fun, there weren't too many people there and only one of them was in any kind of shape so I didn't feel so bad.

After about 3 hours in the pool, and being the only ones left in, the wife and I decided to get out. The wife had gotten splashed earlier (she never planned to swim in the first place) so her clothes were all wet and she was freezing. We decided to jet home, get some dry clothes and come back. When we got back, everyone was crying. They apparently were doing a "tribute" to Al by playing all the music he liked and my drunk father-in-law got up and made some kind of emotional little speech. Needless to say, things got a bit uncomfortable after that for a while. Then someone came up with the idea for a change of venue...and off we went.

It was decided to go to one of the wife's other aunt's house, who lives on the intracoastal waterway, and shoot the fireworks off there. Well, I didn't know how to get there and neither did the wife AND since she's the only person her mother will ride with, I had to ride with my drunk father-in-law in his little honda with no seatbelts. Fun fun fun. I offered to drive, but he NEVER lets anyone drive his cars...if he can help it. So, we bob and weave and speed until finally, after taking the long way and hearing him bitch about losing his beer, losing his lighter, and then realizing that his wife has his wallet, we get there.

This is a really nice house. Very pricey I'm thinking. About 50 yards behind the house is the intracoastal waterway. While everyone's unloading, my father-in-law decides he's going to get in the boat. This aunt has an ocean boat that my father-in-law has a severe hard on for. Everytime he goes there, he has to get in the boat. Unfortunately, he's too drunk to get it started. But, that's not the least of it. See, this aunt, is married to a captain of a charter fisihing boat. He's out on the ocean for like 3 months. Well, he recently called her and told her to sell the house, and they're getting divorced. She's a bit lonely. In my opinion, I think she was drunk last night, and, in trying to make a move on my father-in-law, gave him the keys to the boat. Oh fucking great.

Like I said, luckily he couldn't get it started. That's where the good news ended. The aunt runs to her next door neighbor, who has a boat, and he comes back and instructs drunk father-in-law in how to get it started. After about 5 minutes of discussion, the boat is running. Not 1 minute after that, it's untied and he and two of the kids are motoring up the intracoastal.

Meanwhile, my wife has been recruited to go get her sister and her sister's black boyfriend. Needless to say, this is going to cause some tention with these redneck idiots, but oh well. Nothing else can really happen to surprise me today. Of course, since the wife is going, my mother-in-law has to go to and take care of some shit at home. I'm left with 4-year-old to corral and it's getting dark and everyone wants to see fireworks. Well, one of the fireworks "shooters" is on the damn boat an no one's sure where that is. They should have been back by now.

FINALLY, here they come on the boat, and at the same time, here's the wife. About time too. I went in to check on Icbear Jr. and he was ready to be fed. So, while all the fireworks are going off, I'm up at the house feeding the baby. I rather liked it there anyway. The wife's sister and her black boyfriend sat way off from everyone else. Guess he felt a bit uncomfortable. And the whole night was topped off with me trying to get my drunk father-in-law into the fucking car so I can drive him home. That was an interesting drive. NOT. All in all it wasn't a bad day...it just had some aggrivations.

At the first aunt's house, the wife leaves with her mother to go get a playpen for Icebear Jr. and the wife says, "I think he needs to be fed." She tells me to feed him ½ a jar of applesauce and then give him the bottle of water. Well, I give him the applesauce and I'm giving him the water, but he doesn't seem too interested in it. He starts getting fussy and I'm thinking maybe he's constipated again. He had a bit of a problem Sunday afternoon and the wife had to end up "digging" things out. Well, I take him to a back bedroom to change him when one of the other aunts (Polly) comes in to see what's going on. She's a nosey bitch and I don't like her. Well, she asks if she can hold him so I'm like, well, ok. She picks him up...and is out of the room. While she's holding him, he's fussing so she takes him to the table and tries to feed him some more applesauce. WTF? And she doesn't sit him in his seat to feed him like I was, she tries to hold him in her lap, with his back to her, and almost chokes the poor kid. Then, she has some kind of gall bladder attack and passes my son, MY SON, off to another aunt. I'm standing right there! Why the fuck didn't you give him back to me?! This aunt takes him over to the couch, and lays him across her knees on his tummy! What the hell are you doing? He burps for her. Well, after she annoys him for a while, he gets passed to one of the wife's cousins. She gets him to calm down. All this time, I'm standing there like, "Give me my fucking baby!" No one did.

And then the wife gets back so I march outside and am ready to start venting. I say "Your aunts are passing around Icebear Jr. and I can't get him back and he's fussing." Without a blink she just looks at me and is like, "So. This family loves babies, they have to hold them and stuff." Now I'm really pissed. I've basically had my son ripped from my arms and passed around and everyone wonders why he's fussing? And I mentioned that he'd been constipated. Oh, BIG MISTAKE! They start talking about getting a rectal thermometer and making him shit and stuff. I was about ready to grab my son, pack up our shit and leave. Luckily, the wife got him back, calmed him down and put him down for a nap. Massacre averted. But I was still mad.

You don't ever take a baby away from his father and then pass him around like you're playing "keep away". I had never felt like I was being told "you're a bad father" so much as I had yesterday. It was like they were saying "What do you want him for? You don't know what to do. You're a bad father." Even though they didn't SAY that, that's how I felt. That's not nice. I'll...I'll...I'll set this house on fire.

Well, that's enough for now. Back to work. And I'll try to do better about updating. Honest!

"Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?"

Icebear

previous - next