I'm at a total loss. Yes, Mr. Can't-you-close-your-mouth-for-5-minutes is speechless. Um...well, not really. If I was truly speechless, I wouldn't be writing this, would I? Still, I"m kind of in a state of shock.

After venting, yet again, in my last entry, the wife and I and Little Princess went to Wal-Mart to do some grocery shopping. When we got back, I was worn out, hadn't been to bed, so I crashed. I was woken up sometime after 3:15 (because Icebear Jr. and MonkeyBoy were home) by a crying wife. She looked down at me with red, tear-filled eyes and said, "I've deleted my characters. They're gone. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I don't resent you at all, I resent myself." Then we just lay there and held each other for a long time, or what felt like a long time. I was in the early stages of shock by then. Just when I thought I couldn't love her any more. But, I had mixed emotions.

I know, I know. Make up your fuckin' mind, doofus! I was glad she'd done it, I was totally impressed and madly-er (nice word, eh?) in love with her that she'd done it without me prodding her or "threatening" her. It was all her decision. But, then I felt shitty for feeling good. It's kind of like people who have survived a plane crash or car crash where others have died. They're glad they're alive, but then feel bad about feeling good. We humans are a really fucked up breed sometimes. Well, all the time really.

When I got up and got ready to go to work, I was glad to see that she was doing better. She was back on the computer, back on SWG and playing with a new character. She originally went to a new server, but then went back to the server she started on. She has lots of other friends on that server besides him and I'm glad she did. She had contacted a friend, the first one she ever made on SWG, and told "her" that she was going to delete her character and that she was on under a new one. I was glad at this. She had spent a lot, and I mean, A LOT, of time working on her old character and I had felt bad that she just threw it all away. She had gotten items and done things in the game that had taken her a lot of time and effort and just tossed them with the character. She just looked at me and said, "They're just objects, I can get them again." No one else knows that the tall, sexy female wookie is her, except her friend Selene. I hope she can hook back up with her other friends, the ones who give her cool free stuff and money and get back to doing what she enjoys. Taming creatures and bio-engineering pets. I didn't want to totally ruin the game for her and it looks like I haven't. I'm glad about that. Hopefully one day, if we can get more financially stable, she'll be able to create her own account and we can move her wookie character to the server where my wookie character is and they can be married. That'd be cool.

So, that's over for now. I'm not totally happy about the outcome, though. Even though I feel justified in my feelings, I also feel like a big whiner. I had always talked about wanting 3-somes and stuff like that but then I act like this. It is a bit different, though. I was just talking about sex with other people joining us, not falling in love with other people. But, that's another subject for another time. Much later. No more "serious" entries for a while. They're too damn draining. Makes my 'ead hurt...a lot. All during this time, thoughts would zip through my head, looking this way and that in case they got knocked down. I don't like thoughts that try to think themselves. It's bad enough that I talk most times without thinking. Thinking without thinking could really cause some problems. So, no more...I hope.

Hopefully, from now on, my entries with be a bit lighter. Humorous. Fun to read. We'll see. Till then, you all take care. And if you're married, dating, have children or whatever, go up to your significant other (or children), take them in your arms and give them a great big hug. Then look them in the face and say, "If you ever cheat on me, it'll be the last thing you do. Remember the movie Secret Window? Well..." ...wait! NO! Scratch that! Don't do that! Tell them how much you love them!! That's what I meant to say! That! Not that, but that!! Ok?? Make sure you understand!! You LOVE them!! LOVE!!! Damn, thinking without thinking again. *sigh* Oh, and don't forget my guestbook.

Da 'Bear

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