Friday night I went and bought XXX on DVD. Great movie. If you haven't seen it, well, then I feel sorry for you. Go out now, rent it or buy it, and watch it. I'll think better of you then, I swear.

Vin Diesel is just so fuckin' cool. He makes me think of myself...if I had a shaved head, lost about 85 pounds and grew about 6 inches. Yeah, we're spittin' images, bub. He's just so cool in the movie though. So laid back and relaxed. He's kind of the action anti-hero. He also looks good with tattoos. The soundtrack to the movie fuckin' rocks too. Hell, the whole damn movie kicks ass. 'Nuff said.

I said in my last entry, here that I was playing a game on the Xbox called Outlaw Golf. Let me tell you a bit out this game. It's a sports game, of course, and yes it's a golf game. I can already hear the groans and snickering, but bear with me. It's a golf game, but with an interesting twist. It's like "white trash" golf. There are a total of 10 different characters you can play, 4 of which are unlocked when you start. The first 4 you get to choose from are Harley, the rough and tumble biker chick. Summer, the big-titted, airheaded stripper/porn star. Ice Trey, the scrawny, white, suburban rapper wanna be, and finally there's El Suave, a latin lover (of himself) from Tiajuana.

There are 4 different skill areas that each character has: Distance, Accuracy, Composure and Control, each pretty self explanatory. Of the 4 characters you start with, all have pretty poor skills. Harley has the best distance of the 4, but the worst composure. Luckily, you can increase these skills, as well as get the hang of the controls, by going to the Outlaw Range and participating in various games dealing with putting, driving, chipping and ball control at distance. Each area (putting, driving, chipping, control) have 3 games. When you finish one, you basically do the same shit over for the next one, only you have to score more points, so it does get harder. After completing each "event", you get up to 25 points to divide between your 4 skills. It really is a good way to learn how to control your putting and how to use different clubs at different times.

Once you have your characters skills up a ways, you can participage on one of 3 18 hole courses. There are only 3 courses, but each one has about 10 different games ranging from a skins game (whoever gets the best score on a hole gets a "skin", whoever has the most "skins" at the end of the round wins). There are also just 9-hole rounds between 4 different players. After winning a game, you unlock 2 things. One is another game further down the list for that course, and the other is either a character or clubs. You start with mediocre, beginner level clubs and as you progress, you unlock better, but harder to control intermediate and advanced clubs. If you go to the range and do all of the events to practice (you can't do the last 2 distance events because you don't have the power or the clubs for it yet) and get your characters skills up, you can pretty much win any game you play on the other courses, but you have to be careful. Mistakes do happen, and this is where composure comes into the game.

Each player has a composure meter. When you start a game, your composure is at even. Every time you make a good shot (like a good, long drive, or chip a good shot onto the green) your composure goes up. The type of shot depends on how far it goes up. A good long drive will raise it a little. Chipping from the rough into the cup will make it go up quite a bit. Once you're composure meter is fully in the green (good), you're In The Zone. Shots become easier, you hit farther and generally play better. But there is a downside. If you fuck up a shot, then your composure goes down. And it goes down quickly. I've been completely In The Zone and have had a shot go long over the green into the rough and my composure drops all the way back to even. As your composure goes down, so does your play. You're prone to make more mistakes, thus perpetuating the cycle. But there is a way back...and it's a kick ass way.

Each character has a caddy, the person who carries their clubs for the lay person. As you play, you get what are called "beating tokens". If your composure goes down too far, or all the way, and you can't seem to bounce back, well, then you can take it out on your caddy. By simply pressing the Y button, you enter Beating Mode. It's simple. There's a bar at the bottom of the screen with a thin line on the left and a highlighted area on the right. When you start the beating, the thin bar moves back and forth, right to left. You have to press the button when the thin line is inside the highlighted area. If you hit it, then your character does an "attack" on their caddy. And the highlighted area moves to the other side of the bar as the thin line heads that way. Hit it inside the highlighted area again, and your character does another attack. The highlighted area goes back to the other side, though not as far, and you do it again. This happens a total of 5 times with the distance the thin line travels getting smaller and smaller, making it harder to hit the highlighted area. If you get all five, then you give your caddy a serious beat down and it raises your composure back to In The Zone. If you don't get all five, it just raises your composure an equal amount.

Sometimes, if I'm playing well and leading a round by quite a few strokes, I'll do a beat down on my caddy just for the fun of it. Each character does different things to their caddies, but they're all vicious. It's brutally fun.

So, the next time you're standing at Hollywood Video or Cockduster Video wondering what to rent, meander over to the Xbox section and pick up Outlaw Golf. It'll be worth it. The next game I want to try is Dead or Alive Volleyball so that I can watch big-breasted hotties in bikinis play volleyball and bounce and jiggle all over the sand. The creators have even written new physics engine software to realistically portray the bounce and jiggle of big titties. Fun fun fun.

Anyway, have to head off to bed. The wife starts at a new store tomorrow and has a long drive ahead of her and has to leave early. That means I have to walk MonkeyBoy to school and I'm not looking forward to it. Dammit.

Take care,

Da 'Bear

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