Man, I'm whipped. I feel like I've been rode hard and put away wet. I hurt from the hair down...especially my feet. And it's all the wife's fault...and Uberhamster's.

See, today was the wife's day off and yesterday, she told me "I have stuff I wanna get done tomorrow so be ready." Arg...this could only mean one thing. Cleaning. Well, since I've been catching up on Uber's diary, he's had quite a few entries about him cleaning the Hamster Palace, so I thought that I too should be the manly man and do the lion's, or 'Bear's, share of the work. Dumb idea.

The day started out with a lovely adventure. Bathing the cats. Bathing one cat is bad enough...try it with 5. All of our cats are getting these small raw spots where something is biting them and they're scratching too much and getting sore. So, we got some kitty flea & tick shampoo and gave them all a good scrubbin'. We captured them all, took them into the kids bathroom, shut ourselves in and picked out first victim.

First off was Bucky, one of our 2 siamese (that I picked out) and my little princess. We'd never bathed her before and weren't sure how she'd behave. She was ok, but I had to keep a firm grip on the top of her neck or she'd have bolted. She was also the one who had the most and worst of the raw spots. Once we got her rinsed and toweled off, we let her out of the bathroom to go hide and dry off.

Next was Newton. One of Kitty's three and her little disciple. No matter where she is in the house, as soon as she sits down, he's up in her lap. He worships her...as do they all. He's like the Kitty High Priest. We'd given him a bath before, but he was still a little skittish. He did really good while we wetted him down and scrubbed him, but while we waited for the shampoo to work, he decided he'd had enough and started fighting. That's when Kitty grabbed him and just shoved him under the faucet. Again, once he was rinsed and toweled down pretty good, he was released. Three more to go.

Satchel came third. The two siamese that I picked to adopt are named after my two favorite comic strip characters, Bucky Katt and Satchel Pooch from Get Fuzzy. It's hysterical. Of course, in the strip, Satchel is a dog and our Satchel is a cat, but they look about the same. Our Satchel is a fat ass. Anyway, he fussed a little at first when we started soaking him down, but then he just gave in. He was actually the only one we got to lay on his side so we could wash his belly. He was rinsed off under the tap, which he didn't care much for, toweled off and let loose.

Fourth was Belle. We thought she might take a bit longer because she has long,fluffy fur. We'd also bathed her before, like Newton, so we kind of knew what we were in for. Last time we bathed her, she meowed and whined the whole time, so we thought she'd be pretty vocal. Surprise, she hardly made a peep. We soaked her down, shampooed her up and then let it sit. She was actually very very cool. I didn't have to even hold on to her. Of course, she took one opportunity to leap out of the bath tub, but we caught her and put her back. She was the only escapee of the five. Of course, once we got ready to rinse her off, she found her voice. She started mewling and didn't stop until we had her wrapped in a towel. Once she was semi-dry, she was set free as well.

Last, but by no means least was Dayna. During all the other baths, Dayna had been wandering around the bathroom, purring and rubbing up against everything. During Newton and Satchel's torture, I mean bath, she actaully stood next to the tub and looked like she was going to jump in. Of course, as we finished with Belle, we noticed that she had apparently figured out what was happening and was looking for a place to hide. No such luck. We nabbed her, stuck her under the faucet and sudsed her up. She was probably the best of the 5. She struggled a little bit at the end, but over all was really well behaved. Her odd little trait is what we call the "hydrolic butt lift". Whenever you scratch her on her back, at the base of her tail, she lifts her butt up and stands on tippy-toes to get as high as she can. Whenever she'd get fidgity in the tub, I'd just set off the hydrolic butt lift and she'd settle down. Of course, I had to keep scratching for like 5 minutes, but it worked ok.

Finally done with the cats, we took a break. I thought we were close to done, but noooooo.

After eating lunch, it was time to mop. See, at our new house, there is no carpet. It's all tile. So, that means we have to mop everything. But we don't mop like most people do. With a mop. No, we get a bucket of hot water with some various cleaner in it, a rag and we get down on our knees and scrub the floor. So, after I vacuumed the living room and down the hall to the animal room, the wife and I each grabbed a rag and started on the living room. We got it done pretty quick.

Then I struck a deal with the wife, who said she was wearing out. She would do the kids bathroom and the animal room, after I vacuumed them, and then I'd do the kitchen, dining room and our office area. I should have realized what I was in for. It took me about an hour and a half to do the kitchen, dining room and office area. My knees are killing me. But, I got it done and the floors look great. Our house has quite a bit of square footage so this was no small task. I'm proud of us...this place needed it.

So, now I'm going to go take a nice hot shower to relax and sit and do absolutely nothing the rest of the evening. Oh wait. We do have to go clean the ferrets litter box out and clip their nails. Shit. You think handling 5 cats is tough. Try taking on 3 ferrets. Especially 3 young ones who haven't been let out for a while and are ready to play. Oye!

"Calgon! Take me away!"

Laterz.

Da 'Bear

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