I've looked back through some of my later entries and realize that I've been really bitchy and whiny. Well, I'll try something different today. I was reading Plumcrazey's diary a few days ago and she was talking about how she loves to plan parties and how she planned her wedding and it was a perfect day. I thought I'd relate my wedding experience for ya'll.

First off, "a simple wedding" is a drastic overstatement. This is how it all worked out. In Missouri, I worked at a hotel during and after college. Back in the early 90's it was owned by a management company that went bankrupt and the FDIC took it over. They spent something like $1 million renovating the whole place (I had quit working before this, but came back later on), which was then sold to a crazy little Korean lady for about $1.2 million. Well, I assume, in an effort to cut costs, she put her 21 year old son in charge as manager, which was kind of cool because me and my best friend (who also worked there...actually got me the job) were older than him (I was 24, 'topher was 25) and he was more of a pal than a boss. Well, Al was into computers in a big way, so he took mommy's check book and bought some new computers for the hotel. He let my best friend stick a bunch of internet stuff on the one at the front desk and thus my foray into the internet began. I surfed web sites, sent e-mail and eventually found the world of IRC.

It was in this world of Internet Relay Chat that I spent most of my time, when I had it. See, even though the hotel we worked at was the biggest in town, it was a small town kind of out of the way so it was pretty slow pretty often. Add to that the fact that I'm working 11 PM to 7 AM and you got some good times. I would have all the paperwork and everything done by Midnight, which would leave me basically 7 hours to play on the 'net. See, graveyard shifts do have their perks.

Anyway, after a month or so on IRC, I meet a woman (and yes, I know she was a woman because her friend [who was also her girlfriend at the time] who I trusted greatly, introduced us and sent me a picture of her). Anyway, we start talking and after about 2 months, we're really hitting it off. We've spoken on the phone and online and are really getting serious. Well, in January of '97, I took a weeks vacation and flew to Florida to meet her. I hadn't even seen her in person yet. Needless to say, the first time I saw her, I knew this was it. She had the same beautiful smile that I had seen in the pictures she sent me. Unfortunately, I only had a week. Now, I knew before I flew down that she already had a child, but when I saw him, well, words can't describe it. It was Thursday, we were eating at a cozy little seafood place when the urge hit me. I knew it was right. I took her hands, looked her in the eyes, and asked her to marry me. She said yes without hesitation. Sadly, I had to leave to go home 2 days later and I was devastated. But it wouldn't last long.

In February of the same year, almost a month to the day I had vacation, I packed up my car, kissed my parents good-bye, and headed south for Florida. I had already sent some money down so that she could get an apartment for me so that I wouldn't be stranded when I got here. For about a week or two, I was jobless, and then I got hired at a book store in Boca Raton, called Liberties. It was cool, I got to meet some celebrities like Eric Estrada, Isabella Rosselini, and Tony Bennett. But the date was getting closer.

We had decided that we wanted to get married on June 6th because that was the day my parents got married and they've been married over 35 years. We figured it was an omen. Unfortunately, we couldn't get any of my friends and family to come down (time constraints and money and stuff) so we decided that we'd just go to the courthouse and do it the cheap way. We set the date, I asked to leave work early and everything was set. Sort of.

At the Broward Co. courthouse, in order to get your license and be married, you have to be there by 3:30 PM. I got off of work at 2:00-2:30 and we had to go home so that she could put her dress on. Then, we got lost. As time ticked down, we meandered around the streets of downtown Ft. Lauderdale getting more nervous as time passed. Finally, about 3:20 or so, I called the number for the wedding information and told the lady our situation. She said we had enough time so we calmed a bit. We finally found the right address and headed up in the elevator. As we walked in, there must have been 30 couples all wanting to get married. As I filled out the application form with the stubby little pencils that it seems is all the county could afford, a woman who was waiting walks up and says, "I think you got here too late". I explain that we called and were told we had enough time. So, we take our form, grab a number and have a seat. An hour passes (or it felt like it) and the numbers tick off and approach ours. The crowd that was amassing when we got there had dwindled to about 3 or 4 couples. Finally, we're getting close. They're 2 numbers away from us. They call the number and a couple clasps hands and walks to the counter. Then they call the number before ours, but no one moves. We look around, wondering where the other couple went as the clerk calls the number again. Finally after no answer, he moves on to ours. We can hardly contain ourselves as we walk to the counter. And then he says the words that literally ripped my heart out of my throat. "Couple number XX (the couple 2 before us) is the last couple to get a ceremony, the rest can still get your license."

I was heartbroken. We had rushed for the past 2 hours getting there and now were going to be denied. I almost broke down into tears I was so upset. My wife-to-be just held my hand tighter and led me to the desk. She took the form from my fairly limp grip and handed it to the clerk who commented on how nice she looked. I almost couldn't raise my head. The he said something that startled me. Looking at my wife he said, "you're last name is XXXX (protecting the innocent and all that)?" He grins and says, "My mother's maiden name was XXXX. Wonder if you two are related." She just smiled and replied that anything was possible, it was a big family. As he started filling out our official form, we kind of mentioned how important it was that we get married on this day. Looking over the top of his glasses, he kind of "took stock" of us, then glanced around the office and said, "Tell you what. Sign here and then come around the end of the desk". We signed our marriage license and he led us to a small clear area right behind the counter near the coffee pot and had us face each other. Then, with a look of actual pride on his face, proceeded to give us the best wedding ceremony I have ever had the privelige to attend let alone be part of. My wife and I both had tears in our eyes as we kissed and then we literally shook his arms off of his body. As we bounced down the hall to the elevator and then into the lobby, I guess it was apprent what had just happened to us because the security people at the entrance started congratulating us and some even clapped halfheartedly. It was one of the best days of my life.

I realized then that you don't have to have a big fancy church wedding with all the trimmings and such. All you need is the one you love, and of course, someone to make it official. Sure, I'd like to have a ceremony that all of my friends and family can attend, but it won't hold half the power and feeling that that little ceremony under the flickering flourescent lights by the coffee pot will hold for me. It truly was something you'd expect to hear in a fairy tale...kind of.

And we've been married for almost 3 years and I love my wife more every day. The son that she already had before I came here is now my own (not 100% legally yet) but I'm the only daddy he's known and is going to know. And, if you've been reading regularly, you know about our recent addition of another son. As I sit here and write this, I realize that, yeah, things have gotten pretty shitty money wise and we're still in some pretty tough situations with finances, but I'm so rich in life that I don't really care right now. Just thinking of that day puts a smile on my face. To think that 2 little words could alter your entire life, for the better.

"I do"

Icebear