I know the date says yesterday's date but it's today. Deal with it Joyless Prole. I was home sick yesterday and was in no mood and had no energy to update. Not that I feel I have to explain myself to you. I don't!

Ok, enough fuckin' around. I was home sick yesterday though. Turns out that if you only get about 2 tossin' and turnin' hours of sleep a night for about a week and a half, it does bad things to you. Like, IT KICKS YOUR ASS! I know because mine was so kickethed. I'm actually feeling much better today, so it was worth the day off.

I think Icebear Jr. is going to grow up to be a doctor. Everytime I hold him, he'll stare at my face for a second and then he reaches up with his tiny right hand, grabs my lower lip and pulls my mouth open and just stares. Sometimes he grabs my teeth but mostly he just painfully digs his little baby-razor fingernails into my gums. I think he's studying my overbite, but the wife thinks it's less complicated. "He's just trying to get a hold of that barbell in your tongue. He wants to pull on it." Yeah, right.

I was watching the X-Men DVD and was sitting on the couch with him sort of standing in my lap (read: on my nuts) and leaning against my right shoulder. Next thing I know, he's talking as fast as he can in his patented baby speak and probing my right ear with a sharp nailed finger. Damn, we've got to cut his nails. Course, the wife thought it was funny, sadistic woman. Heh.

I hate to admit it, but I actually got bored with a porno the other night. Yes, really, I did. About a month ago, the wife and I went to the local Adult Video Wearhouse to get a vid. She's got the hots for Anna Malle so I went in looking for a DVD with AM in it and happened across the video for the "Houston 500", the world's biggest gangbang 3. I had seen the second one back before Kittikity and I got married and I lived alone. I didn't really find it that entertaining. Mainly because Jasmine St. Claire is a fuckin' bitch. But anyway, this Houston looked hot and I couldn't get the images on the box out of my head. So, last week, I headed over to the AVW and rented it. The wife wasn't mad, but she was also like "Why'd you get that?" I couldn't answer, I was entranced in this Pavlovian state that I had no control over. Besides, she watched it with me.

We were both interested in it at first, but after it got up to like the 300th guy, we both got kind of jaded on it. I kept hitting the fast forward button more and more often until finally it was over. Ish. But that started up a discussion between the wife and I. I asked her what she would say if I told her they were having one of those in our area and I wanted to go. She actually said that it didn't really bother her. For one, it wasn't really that intimate, and it wouldn't be just me and her. It would be me and her and him, and him, and him, and him, and him...plus, she said she wanted to watch. I wouldn't do it anyway because I have the self esteem of a thumbtack. I'd be afraid that I'd get up there and get laughed at. The wife says otherwise, but what does she know? Heh.

Another thing that got to me was the way the whole thing was actually done. When I think of gangbang, I picture a bunch of guys around a woman, penises in various orifaces and such. When one guys is finished another takes over and so on. They way they did the Houston thing was different. They started off having the guys go up in groups of 5. They had fluffer girls get them ready (basically give them a blow job until they were "erect") and they would go up to the "platform" one by one, penetrate and start at it. Each guy got to hump for about 30 seconds or so and then someone would yell "Next!" and another guy would come up and the first guy would stand off to the side and yank. After all five had had their 30 seconds of fame, they'd all approach the platform, rip off the condoms and "pop" on Houston. After which, the guy with what has to be the shittiest job in the world, would come in with paper towels and baby wipes and help her clean up for the next five. It went on like that for 4 hours. Ack.

It was surprising, however, because she did do anal and she also did a little oral. They did make it very clear that there were to be "NO FACIALS". That would have taken out a lot of steam for me had I been a participant. It wasn't all bad, though. There were plenty of humorous moments. The host was Ron "The Hedgehog" Jeremy and he's got a singular wit. Then there were the participants. All the guys who took part were given a white T-shirt by Metro, the adult film company sponsoring the "event". All participants were required to wear their metro shirts. Problem with that was, you've got these short skinny guys in a XXL t-shirt trying to hump this hot, big-boobied porn star, and look cool. Heh...keep trying, Gumby. There were a couple of guys that still had their dress socks and loafers on. I mean, shit. By the time the thing was over, guys were coming up buck naked or with the shirt in their hands and then dropping it on the floor. Heh. If you're interested in seeing something like this, I would definitely get this one out of the three "World's Biggest Gangbang" series, but don't expect much from it. I didn't and I wasn't disappointed.

Well, that's about enough for today. Everyone come by and check this entry out as soon as you can because it's going to be replaced by the one for today pretty soon. Till then, keep the beer cool and the action hot.

Icebear

 

 

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