Well, after yesterday's long, drawn-out, boring entry, I figured that I had best come up with something better or all 4 of my loyal readers are going to leave me. Well, I've fucked up again. I don't have jack shit to say. Actually, that's not true. I have tons of shit to say, I just don't have anything of interest to anyone out there reading this to say. Oh well.

I think Christmas is a great holiday, don't get me wrong, but it makes me wanna fuckin' kill my entire family. Mainly, my mother-in-law and my wife. Why? Well, I'm glad you asked. I'll tell you. Ok, what part of "I don't really want anything for Christmas" do you all find hard to understand. My mother-in-law asks me, "What do you want for Christmas, other than CD's or DVD's?" Well, shit, that's pretty much my list there bucko ('cept for Gabrielle Reece wrapped in ribbon...if you wonder why, get the latest Playboy). So, I can't think of anything else and I tell her, don't worry about it. What does she say? "Well, you're getting something, what do you want?" ARG! I just told her I can't think of anything. Jayzus. The wife has done the same thing. "You're getting something, what do you want?"

Actually, I wanna smack the wife for different reasons. She's already gotten me two things that she's sure I'm going to love. If she's right, she's in big trouble. Why? Because I haven't gotten her shit and I haven't the slightest fuckin' clue what to get her. Do I suck or what? So, yeah, I'm mad at her because of my own shortcomings, but hey, I'm a man, that's how we work.

Also, Christmas is becoming the season of spousal abuse. The wife and her sister went shopping for their mom Sunday and got all her Christmas presents for everyone. When she got home, she sat next to me and I asked her if she got anything for me. She said yes, so I got curious. "Whadja get for me?" Of course, she just said, "I'm not telling you." "Whadja get for me?" Again, "I'm not telling you, you'll have to wait." At which point I continued to ask "Whadja get for me?", not even giving her a chance to respond, especially if it sounded like she was going to say "I'm not telling", over and over and over. Until she hit me. Then it lost it's humor. I was wounded. I've got to tell you all something. Fuckin' Mrs. Icebear hits fuckin' hard! "But she's a woman" I can hear you sayin'. She ain't no woman. She's a 26 year old tomboy with bony-ass knuckles is what she is. You'd think I'd learn my lesson and stop asking her shit like that over and over and over again, but I don't. Actually, I did it the first time to see if I could catch her off guard and get her to spill it. Now, I just do it to piss her off. Hey, I'm a man. That's how we work.

I'm kind of pissed at my company too. We're having a holiday party on Friday and I was going to bring the wife. Last year, the company rented a big banquet room at a nearby Marriott and we had great food and a great time and there was room for all the employees and then some. Well, this year, they're having it at some restaurant named Gigi's and apparently it's much smaller so we're over the limit and I can't bring the wife. She could care less, but I'm fuckin' pissed. I wanted to sit there and eat and watch all the guys sit and stare at her. She's a hottie. But no, now I have to go by myself. I think some of the people I work with (the newer ones) are beginning to wonder if I'm really married or not. They probably think the picture I have at my desk is something I swiped out of a magazine or something and that I'm really some weird hermit-type who lives in a dirty, one room apartment, spending all my free time whacking off to porno mags and shit. I think I just have that look about me. Not the hermit-type, actually, just the guy who spends all his free time whackin' off. Hey, I'm a man. That's how we work.

Well, this entry made about as much sense as George W. Bush, so I'd best quit while I'm ahead. Hey "Dubyah", take a hint why don'cha! Fucker. Anyway, I'm going to go home and relax and play with my kids. Get whacked in the nuts a couple of times (always happens), pass out for a while and then go to bed. Don't you all wish you could live my life? Don't you? Please? For a little while? Heh...loozer. Anyway, take care of yourselves and be safe. I need all the readers I can get. Besides, Da 'Bear loves ya. And keep your eyes open for 'Bear Wear coming soon!!

Icebear

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