*Da 'Bear limps in, a slow lumbering gait and stops, favoring his right leg*

Hey, you. No, you, the big guy in the back. Come 'ere. I need a favor. Stand right there. Ok, put on this steel-toed combat boot with the long metal spike. Now, I want you to rear back and KICK ME IN THE JIMMY!

Whaddaya mean no? Well, of course it'll hurt, dingus, that's the whole point. Eh, fine ya pansy, go back to yer seat.

The 'Bear is hurtin' kiddies. At the risk of offending Annie, Bobbo, and Uberhammie (because they're all older than me), I feel fuckin' old. And I'm not even 30 yet. ARG! Hrm. I can tell by the confused looks on some of the faces that a little explanation is in order. Kay. For the past 10 days, yours truly has been fighting some nasty headaches. Very early Thanksgiving morning, I thought I was going to have to have the wife take me to the hospital. I was thinking of all the possible causes: sinus, high blood pressure, tumor, tumor, tumor (that one kind of stuck), but in reality, I had no idea. Then, to top it off, I go to work Friday for part of the day and, I haven't a fuckin' clue in this big beautiful world of how, hurt my leg. Apparently, my jeans were a bit tight and where they creased in the leg, over my right thigh, cut off circulation or something. So now, the inside of my right thigh is swollen and is very tender and sore and the pain has passed down to my calf. Problem is, from playing football, my legs are rather muscular (my wife and bestest friend say I don't have calves I have "cows") so this means mucho pain. Yay.

Fine, only one solution right? Go to the doctor. Yeeeeaaah rrrrrrriiiiiiiiight. My doctor is some 65 year old guy who, I feel, is working through his retirement because he's fuckin' bored. 90% of his patients are over the retirement age, seriously. I only picked him because A) he took the insurance our company uses and B) he's close to where we (used to) live. Anyway, I call his office yesterday and tell them I need to see him and they "squeeze" me in. After sitting for about 10-15 minutes I'm taken and weighed (mumble mumble 268 mumble mumble goddammit) and then led to an exam room (one of two). I tell the nurse about my headaches AND my leg, and she jots down notes. When the doc comes in and asks what's up, I begin by telling him about my headaches. I do tell him that there are "a few things wrong" but start out with my head. That's as far as I get. He begins looking in my ears, my mouth, shit like that. Even checked my nasal passages, and gave me a bloody nose in the process. Anyway, he ruled out sinus and blood pressure and listed it as "headaches of unknown origin". Great, helps a lot. I will say, however, that the prescription he gave me helped a lot. Haven't had a headache since yesterday. But what about my leg?

Well, he wanted to draw some blood for labwork so he takes me into their "blood room" and tells a nurse to draw some blood. Before I know it, he's gone, talking to his next patient, I'm getting stuck for blood (and she left a nice, lovely bruise), and I've found nothing out about my leg. Fuck. To top it off, I notice last night that everything is swollen and it's pretty painful. Normally I would just wait until my leg falls off, but the wife is getting a bit nervous about it so I might have to make another visit. Friggin' old-ass doctor.

I do have some good news from the weekend, well sort of. I broke the wife down, finally, and Friday night we went and bought The Sims and the expansion Livin' Large. I must say, I'm addicted. Shit this game is wild. It's not overly fun, or exciting, it's just...just...just...I don't know. I was playing it yesterday after getting back from the doctor, ten minutes later, I look over to find out that it's not ten minutes later but 3 hours later. Wow! Time fuckin' flies when you're playing this. Ok, I take it back, the game is fun, but not in one of those "yippee I'm having so much fun" kind of ways. Anyway, my sim's name is Jacob Frost and I've only been playing him for basically a day and a half and he's already half way through his career path. Other people who play might have an idea as to what I mean. His career path is "Hacker". He started out as a beta tester, then went to, I believe, tech support, and then to webmaster, hacker and now he works for the government as a Security Consultant. It's the perfect job because, if I send him to work bathed, fed, pottied, and energized, it doesn't really come down. If you haven't gotten this game, go get it. Be prepared to miss school, work, meals, showers, life though because it's addictive. It's like computerized crack.

Well, that's enough for me for today, I'm going to shoot on out of here. Gonna go home and play with Jacob some, play with the kids, play with the wife...heh heh...and try to relax and take care of my fuckin' leg. Hey, look at the bright side, at least I don't have to worry about headaches for now. Till next entry, keep your hands at 10 and 2 and make sure your seatbelt is securely fastened.

Icebear

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