I'm so fuckin' pumped right now. Let me 'splain. Quite a few months ago, I heard a song on a college radio station that I listen to every once in a while because they play some really heavy shit. Well, I heard this song that I thought just kicked ass, but never found out what it was. I had thought about calling the station and asking them what it is, but it's been months since I heard it and I never got the band name or the song title, all I could even remember was just the opening where the lead singer goes "Ooooo ah ah ah ah" like a monkey. I wasn't about to do that over the phone. But then, I saw/heard something on TV that would end up helping me greatly.

Believe it or not, the WWF was the major key in helping me find this song. I was watching "Unforgiven" on pay-per-view when Stone Cold Steve Austin comes back and he's got a new entry song. It's done by the band Disturbed. As the song is playing, I'm thinking to myself, "Man, that singer sounds kind of like the guy in that song I've been hunting for." Well, today, my months of searching have come to an end. I opened up Scour Exchange, entered Disturbed into the search and got quite a bit of a list. Their biggest hit, that you all might recognize, is "Stupify". Anyway, I didn't know the song's title so I just started downloading them all. Lo and behold, the very first song I download and play is the one I'm looking for. Yip-fuckin'-pee! So, if you're interested (and you'd better fuckin' be), you can click on the download button below and download "Down With The Sickness". It's a kick-ass song!

Kicks ass don't it! Damn right it does.

I walked into the bathroom last night while Demonchild was going pee and had a flashback to my child hood. A rather painful flashback.

I'm the youngest of two kids. My sister is almost exactly 3½ years older than me. She was smart though. By the time I was in the 8th grade, I was as tall as her and was pretty strong, so she picked on me and tormented me as much as she could when we were little. One time, however, we both learned a lesson.

When I was about 3 or so, I was just tall enough that, when I went pee, I could rest my little po-po on the bowl of the toilet. I would walk in, drop trou, place me little po-po on the bowl and stand there with my arms crossed, going pee. I think at one time my mother had a picture of this, but it has since disappeared (*wink wink*). Anyway, one day, I'm in the bathroom, po-po on the bowl, peeing away contentedly, when my sister walks in. She's got an evil-type grin on her face and I was afraid she was going to hit me. She looks down at the toilet, looks at me and says, "You finished?" Thinking she's just wanting me to get out of the way, I say "Yes". Before I can move, she reaches up, grabs the toilet seat (which is up, of course) and slams it down, right on top of my poor little po-po. As with all male genetalia trauma, it took a second to register what had happened....but only a second.

Pain slowly started to spread throughout my body. Every joint began to go limp. My knees started to buckle, my ass even went numb. By the time the pain had reached my shoulders, I screamed. I screamed so hard that I immediately lost my voice. Apparently, this was not the exact reaction my sister was expecting. She stood there, wide-eyed, mouth agape, all the color draining out of her face. Things began to get blurry from all the tears streaming down my face. I looked down and my little po-po was a deep red color, and appeared to be getting darker. Then I heard it. A loud gasp and then "What in the world is going on in her...oh my goodness!" I turn to see my mom standing in the door way, eyes wide and a look of confusion on her face.

My sister is still standing there, frozen. My mom looks up from the toilet to me and says, "What happened?" I, of course, can't speak with a pummeled po-po, so I just did that half-talk half-cry "muh-muh-muh-muh" and pointed to my sister, tears streaming down my face again. By this time, reality has set in and my sister has realized that she has missed her escape window and she slowly turns to my mom, a very sheepish grin on her face. "What did you do?" my mother asks sternly, but not yelling. At first, I didn't think she was going to answer, but then she opened her mouth and quietly said, "I think I broke his po-po." My mom just looks kind of confused, so my sister proceeds to tell her about slamming the toilet seat down on my poor little guy. That's when my mother realizes that I'm still standing there with a mashed po-po under the toilet seat. She rushes over and slowly lifts the lid and I get a good look at my smashed little man. It had turned a very dark shade of purple and began to throb. Luckily, after she lifted the lid, the color started to lighten and 20 minutes later, it was back to its normal color. I was still very sore though. I couldn't stand anymore and had to lean against the bathroom wall.

My mom called my dad in from mowing the yard and he helped me to the living room couch, turned on the cartoons and then got a small ice pack and put on my crotch over my superman under-roos. My mother, meanwhile, took my sister by the arm and led her to her room. I didn't hear any spanking or crying, but they were gone for a long time. When they came out, my sister was pale as a ghost and I could tell she had been crying. My mother stood behind her, an immovable wall, as she stood by the couch and quietly apologized for what she did. I asked my mom if she had spanked her and she said no and I was like, "Why not?" It ends up that my mom explained to my sister the damage that she could have caused and stuff and it totally freaked my sister out. She thought I was going to have to have it cut off and stuff. For like a month after that, she wouldn't even lay a hand on me. Guess she learned her lesson. I still wanted her to get whupped though.

Not too much longer after that, I had a growth spurt and could no longer rest my po-po on the bowl so I didn't have to fear that kind of situation again. My sister and I still fought on occasion and I ended up being the more violent one, but we both learned our lesson that day, and each time I would enter the bathroom while she was in there (or vice versa), we'd eye each other like a couple of wild cats. Never trusting the others movements. We got over it, though, and now I love my sister very much. I always did, actually, I just chose to show it a different way. Anyway, that's it for this painful memory. Hope noone got hurt by this one. Catch ya next entry.

Oh, here's another cool song by Disturbed. This is a cover of Tears For Fears' "Shout". It's pretty cool, check it out.

"Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?"

Icebear