I got royally screwed last night, but it's not what you think. I was actually stupid enough to sit from 7 PM to 11 PM EST and watch the fuckin' MTV VMA's. What a worthless piece of shit that was. Let me break down the high points.

The Wayans Bros. were about as funny as an enema. If it hadn't been for Shawn (or was it Marlon?) laughing at their own jokes, there would have been complete silence after each delivery. When Marlon (or was it fuckin' Shawn?) came out at the beginning doing a Chris Rock impression, I thought it was so so. It was funnier to watch the reactions on the faces of the people he was digging. They got a good shot of Bitchy Spears, mouth agape in surprise, when he targeted her. That was pretty good. Most of all, though, the whole fucking thing was pretty much a non-event.

Lars Bullshit was there. Woo-fuckin'-hoo. I did like when the creator of Napster came out with a Metallica shirt on and to the Metallica song "I disappear". Lars reaction was pretty much expected. Fucker. I've change my opinion on Metallica, however. Have you noticed something odd with all this Napster bullshit? The only Metallica person that I have seen speaking out on it is Lars. James, Kirk, and Jason have been oddly absent. I have a feeling they got drunk one night, one of them jokingly said, let's go after Napster. Lars, being the corporate kiss-ass he's become runs with it and now the others are like, "Hey, man, you want to piss into the wind, go ahead. Leave me out of it." So, I still like Metallica's music, but I hate Lars. I know, I know, I'm a pussy. I can't help it. James Hetfield has been a fucking GOD to me for too long to just push off so easily like that. Besides, I think they still rock and if you don't like it then FUCK YOU. YOU GO TO HELL...YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE! Am I clear?

Let's see, other highlights. I thought this was the MTV awards, but it was more like the "Source Light Awards". Almost every performer, presenter, and shit were rap or hip-hop (like there's a difference) performers. And, what's with the fuckin' lip-synching. Blink 182 may not have had a performance "you have to see to believe" (that bugged me too Uncle Bob), but at least they were performing live. Same with the Chili Peppers (nice mohawks!) and Rage Against The Machine (the bass player almost broke the machine). I guess Britney, Sisqo, and Janet Jackson (god, is she fuckin' hot) couldn't be bothere to actually sing. Oh, and N'Sync...I mean, shit...look at their name for chrissakes.

Between the Wayans' pathetic humor, Robert Deniro not being able to read the fuckin' teleprompter, and Jim Carrey's shenanigans, I think the best part of the show was when Tim, the bass player for R.A.T.M. climbed up on the 'stage set' behind Limp Dipshit and almost toppled the damn thing. I was waiting for it to fall over and smash Fred Jerks, hell the whole band (except Wes the guitar player...I like him...he's so WEIRD) for that matter. And what happened with the 'bleepers'? You know, the people who bleep out the dirty words? Lil' Kim and Big Pussy from the Soprano's come on and they've bleeped the word 'pussy' like 4 times already and all of a sudden, Lil' Kim says it and it goes out plain as day. Someone have a lapse in attention? Sheeeit.

I think it's a sad statement on the music of today that the of all the videos that were up for 'Video of the Year', one was a 'rock' type video (Blink 182). All the rest were just shit. And what's with Eminem? Yes, I'll admit that I like some of his songs and I did like his performance, it held my attention, but shit, 2 awards? And the people he was going up against weren't too bad. But, hey, it's over, I can't do anything about it. I was captivated by Britney's Performance however, when she started her little 'strip act'. Damn, that little ladies got some fuckin' moves. She knows how to shake her ass. Christina Aquavelva had a look on her face like "Shit, now I need to strip too." At least Christina sang her damn song live.

I think the low point in the humor came with the Wayan's impression of Macy Gray (was she stoned or what?) and with Lars and his "Sharing is fun unless it's your stuff" bullshit. I want to just grab him by the nuts and squeeze till he turns blue...and then squeeze again. "You've got fuckin' millions of dollars! Metallica makes it's money touring and shit! You don't need to fuck with Napster! Give me my fuckin' access back you fuckin' little Dutch piece of tennis reject!" Just a bit pent up there, eh? That's the shitty thing. He was on MSNBC a while back saying that they take in about 50/50 with record sales and touring. Bullshit! They make probably 75% of their money (if not more) from touring and merchandise sales. Everyone knows that. Why do you think they spent a fucking year and half touring (and making a video to subsequently sell later) after the Black album came out? Money! It's not for the fuckin' kids, it's for money. At least to Lars it is. Case in point.

In the second video of the "Year and a half in the life of..." (the touring video) the camera catches them coming back into the dressing room after a show. Lars is going on about how the kids were fucking loud and shit and the camera is panning around and then comes back to Lars talking to their tour manager or something about some seating problems. They had seats beside the stage that they wanted to sell, but the fire marshall wouldn't let them. When the manager tells him that they wanted to release the seats and sell them Lars looks at the camera, makes an evil smirk face, and starts rubbing the fingers of one hand together. You can just hear his inner voice going "Money, money, money, MOOOONEY." I hate him. Scrawny fucker.

I could go on about all the shameless plugs that everyone was getting in. L.L. Cool J with his plugs for his new album, Jim Carrey with his plugs, Mark Wahlberg and his fuckin' plug but I'm not. I could expound on the fuckin' clothing styles, everything from near tuxes, to Nelly (who?) coming out with his fuckin' pants around his ankles and his undies showing, but I'm not. I could even go into detail about how it was more a of a rap/hip-hop/R night than a real music night, but I'm not. I'm just going to stop here because this has turned into a long-ass rant that I didn't want it to. Oh well.

Hey, how about that? I actually updated on a Friday! Let's see if I can get something done over the weekend too. Well, I don't have plans this weekend except to study for my FAA written exam for my private pilot's license. Wish me luck. You all have a good weekend! Do things that I wish I could do, but I'm too chicken to do. Remember, the 'Bear loves y'all!

"Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?"

Icebear

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