Before I start my entry today, I just want to say GODDAMN YOU BRAVENET! First off, they have a hard drive go tits up so all the entries to my guestbook before August 10 are gone for good. A total of 8 entries have disappeared. Now, the fuckin' site isn't even coming up at all. So, my counter's not working and I'm getting pissed. Some fuckin' day this has turned out to be.

Ok, now that that's out of the way. I'm sad to say that I'm a complete loser. I hadn't seen a single fuckin' episode of Survivor and I could give 2 shits about who won, but never the less, last night, I found myself tuning in because there was nothing else to watch and I actually got interested in it. I'm so sad. I came in just as Mr. Annoying Announcer Guy was explaining the rules of the final Immunity Challenge to them. I didn't even know the names of the survivors (actaully, I knew which one was Rudy because I had seen his picture and name before). As I sat and watched the 3 of them stand there on their little logs and hold onto the idol, I could feel myself getting pulled in, slowly but surely, into that quasi-realm that is survivor fandom. Little did I know, but my wife was also being sucked in. Before we knew it, we'd already formed opinions of all three remaining survivors.

Out of the three ramaining, I wanted Rich to win, but I had doubts. I could have sworn that I had seen a special or some news show on MSNBC (Time and Again or something) where they were talking to him and they said he "had been kicked off the island". The whole story was about how he allegedly abused his son and shit. I turned the channel 5 minutes into it. So, I figured he would be either the next to go or would lose in the end. Color me surprised.

I sat in my uncomfortable chair and watched as Rich left Rudy hanging to take on Kelly (who I just didn't like...can't give a reason, I just didn't like her), and I thought to myself, I wonder if CBS reads Uncle Bob's diary? I remember him talking about a game show that he's seen on USA, I believe, called "Last one Standing" or some shit and it consists of contestants standing around a vehicle with their hands on it. The last one standing with their hand on it won it. Thoughts like this spun through the haze that was my brain as Jeff Probst droned on and on and tried, poorly, to tempt Rudy and Smelly with oranges and water. And on it went.

And, as, of course, always happens, someone lets their attention lapse and as they were chaning places, poor Rudy took his hand off the idol. Of course, the bitch Jelly was quick to point it out. "*gasp* He took his hand off." I won't go into how disappointed I was that she won. What little I knew of the show from watching last night, I knew that Rudy and Rich had had an alliance pretty much the whole time and had formed a stronger bond towards the end when Rich got fucked over by Sue (more on her later). So, I hated to have to think about each one having to vote the other off, but then when the Tribal Council came about and Annoying Jeff explained that they wouldn't vote, I sat a little easier. Unfortunately, it was all left up to Helly.

The rest of the show passed for me as kind of a dream. I watched it but didn't really see it. I listened to Rich explain why he got out of the last challenge so early and saw his logic, and then I listened to Kelpy and she just seemed to bitch. Then came the last Tribal Council and shit. I'll be honest. I haven't seen the show except for last night, but I was glad Rich one. He was forthright and honest and came right out and said that he approached it as a game, and a game of strategy and that he was cocky and look where it got him. Bitch all you want, he's laughing to the bank.

The reunion show was kind of cool, for me, because I got to meet all the other survivors (that I didn't meet in the Jury) and I enjoyed seeing all of them interact together. Even though I didn't see the entire series, I've already formed some opinions of a lot of the survivors. These are my opinions only so if they offend you or don't jibe with what you think, fuck off. Stop taking life so damn seriously. It's all just one big game of "Survivor" anyway.

1. Richard (winner): He came across to me as pretty intelligent and well organized. I wasn't surprised when, at the reunion, they showed his occupation as Corporate Trainer. I appreciated his honesty about how he played the game and I respect him for forming a plan and sticking with it. In a game like this, even though it's a game, especially one with such a big prize at the end, toes are going to get stepped on. He did the stepping as fairly as he could.

2. Kelly (loser): Like I said before, I don't know what it was, I just didn't like her. I think it's because she reminded me of some women I knew. She looked like one and her personality reminded me of a few others. I immediately wanted her to lose the Immunity Challenge, but fate doesn't like me so you all know the result. I don't really think she deserved the treatment she got from Sue (bitch!), but I just didn't care for her. 'Nuff said.

3. Rudy: I immediately liked Rudy even though I hated him. I didn't see as much of him as I did Rich and Kruller, but what I did see kind of annoyed me. Especially the comment that his wife would walk across the hot coals "if I told her to". Hey, bud, this ain't the Navy SEALs here. And I definitely thought he'd come out on top of the last Immunity Challenge with his SEAL training, but nope, that old mind of his slipped. I think it had something to do with that fucker Jeff standing there droning on and on and on. I'd take that fuckin' idol and hit him over the head with it.

4. Sue: Oh boy do I really hate this bitch. Jealous much? Shit was she nasty. The shitty part is she probably did the same shit Krappy did. She's just pissed it didn't work out for her the same way. When they interviewed her before the Tribal Council and she said something about "both barrells" I figured she was going to be tearing into someone. And then of course, Bryant Humble saying he didn't want to start a fight with her on the reunion show. Shit, don't make her think she's any tougher than she already thinks she is. I think she's a mean, deceitful, back-stabbing, gripy, bitch who likes to dish it out, but when it comes her time to take it, she cries foul. She likes to blame Krawly for her getting voted off and not herself. I hate her. Really. No really, I do. And if I saw her struggling for a drink of water, I'd walk up, unzip and piss all over her. But I'm not bitter or anything.

5. Sean: I'm not going to get started here. Pretty boy doctor? He's good at kissing ass. You'd have thought he was in danger of getting voted off (again) with the speech he gave at the Tribal Council. Give it up, the "Fat Naked Fag with a Million Dollars" isn't going to cut you in. Go back to your Ken doll life and shut up. Oh, loved the audition video. I think you need a little more "dirty bath water".

6. Greg: I thought he was cool. He seemed like he didn't really care, but he did. I was kind of disappointed with the way he voted. I'd rather he voted because of the person, not that they picked the closest number. That's sad. He seemed to have a good sense of humor though. Kind of wish I had seen more eps to get to know him better.

7. Colleen: Ok, I'm sorry, but I just didn't like her. Talk about a whiner. "I don't think either of you should get it" or whatever. Stop pouting because you're a loser and get on with life. I don't care how cute you are or that you live in Miami, which is about 30 minutes away from here. I don't like you. Don't mean to offend all the Colleenites out there, but tough shit.

8. Gervase and Jenny: I didn't really form much of an opinion on them because I saw them the least. I liked Gervase reaming Sue about her little rant and calling her a 'sore loser', but that's about it. Don't really have much to say about Jen (that is her name right?).

   All in all, I thought it was a pretty cool show and wish I had seen more of it. I liked the whole Tribal Council thing, but didn't see enough of it to understand. I'm completely lost on the Tagi and Pagong shit. I'll have to have The Fool or maybe CordeliaMeg 'splain that bit to me. I was a little disappointed in the final vote however. Not the result, but the process. It seemed like at least ½ of them weren't voting based on the person and how they played, but were just exercising grudges. Like Sue. Even though she said she respected Richard's work ethic, she only voted for him to fuck Kelly. Colleen completely pissed me off with her complete lack of enthusiasm and her laxidasical attitude of "well, I have to pick one of you so I'll just pick the one I like the most" bullshit. At first, except for Gervase, it looked like all the women were going to vote for Kelly, but then Sue made clear her intentions so that blew that theory. Anyway, I think I'll try to catch more of "Survivor in the Australian Outback" when it starts. I think I could actually handle being on the show. Hey, can't be any worse than growing up in the backwoods of Missouri (yes, there are backwoods). Well, we don't have crocks, yet, but you never know. Just look at "Lake Placid".

   ---

   Anyway, that's my $1.50 on the whole Survivor thing. Even though I normally wouldn't have watched it, I'm kind of glad that there was nothing on to watch and that I did catch it. I'm sure my opinions and view points are vastly skewed from most of you all since I only saw one show, but hey, fucked if I care. After seeing this show, I think I might actually apply for the next Diaryland Survivor, if one comes about. Until then, wave your Tagi or Pagong flags high and be sure that those grub worms are ripe before you chow down. Remember, the 'Bear loves you, ya bastahds.

   "Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?"

   Icebear

    

    

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